How Do We View Loneliness?

Oct 11, 20248 min read

Let me tell you how I came upon this subject.

It definitely is not because I myself, am lonely...

But it is possible that I may be someday.

I was watching one of my favorite YouTube channels, and a fine lady was sharing her testimony about how she came to find Yahweh Elohim. She had come from a horrific childhood; suffering many things that children that are the age she was when it all happened to her should never have to experience; let alone; hear about, in their entire lifetimes... But she had come out all the more beautiful and so, very, very lovely and healed on the other side of her experience.

Then, she made a very simple statement that had stopped me in my tracks, where a ton of bricks came tumbling down on my head...

She said, "If we can get delivered from our past, then we don't bring it into our future."

I stopped, paused the video, and sat there for a moment, letting what I had heard her just say sink in... Then I attempted to apply this statement to my own life.

"If I get delivered from my past," Which, I felt was a feat I had already accomplished...

"Then I don't bring it into my future..." Now, that's the part I was having a very hard time with.

And so, I began asking myself the difficult questions:

Is this something that is possible for me?

Am I too traumatized for this to be a possibility?

Will I unknowingly, unwittingly, or inevitably hurt the next person who becomes romantically involved with me; due to the abuse I have suffered in my past?

Will I choose someone who will hurt me again? If so, will I be able to handle it this time?

How will I know the difference between a good man and a bad one, since all I have experienced in romantic relationships is the worst in people?

If I choose another abusive person, will I instinctively try to "fix him," like I did before?

Would I really know what to do with true love if it was staring me in the face?

If it's true that I have been delivered from my past, then why do I feel like I could still ruin my future?

Am I not really delivered from my past?

I sat in the midst of all of these questions, hovering over the top of my head; and I thought to myself... Maybe I'm just not ready to be in a relationship again. Although it has been 6 years since I was in my last one. How long will it be before I actually feel ready?

Should I even attempt to be in a relationship again? Won't I just be risking too much hurt,

possibly for both me and the other person involved? Is it even worth it?

I ran a portion of these questions via text to my son, after telling him what the lady had just said in the video, and I told him, "I think I have placed myself in a very protective; very comfortable bubble that I don't have any desire to pop." He replied by asking, "If you hide yourself away on purpose, how will you ever know your full potential?"

My son brought up a very good point. So, I took what he said; along with all those hovering questions, and I neatly placed them all in a prayer to Yahweh Elohim.

This is the answer I have received from Him:

"You are ignoring your gifts and getting way too ahead of yourself. Haven't I blessed you with the Holy Spirit, who has granted you the ability to live without the desire of lust for the last 5 years and counting? Haven't you experienced nothing but peace during these years? Has celibacy not been the greatest gift you have proclaimed to receive from Me? Haven't I shown you that; when you thought you couldn't live without the man I removed from your life (and for good reason), that not only could you live without Him, but, that I have filled that space; that void that you believed that losing him would cause? And, most importantly, hasn't that brought us closer than we have ever been?"

And He continued, saying, "When you have already found your greatest love, why are you thinking about looking for it somewhere else? Ask yourself why I specifically provided you with these particular gifts."

And I paused again... Meditating on that word I had received from Him.

"Wow..." I thought. "He is so right."

So, now, I had to ask myself... Why had I felt so pressured to "ready myself" for the next possible relationship with a man? I have a relationship with a man already... His name is Jesus Christ.

Isn't He enough? Hasn't He been enough for me for the last 5 years?

The answer is, yes. More than enough, in fact.

The next thing that happened is, He allowed me to properly go back into my brain and determine why I had even asked myself all of these questions in the first place. And here is what I came up with:

Culture (excluding the very fine woman whose testimony I heard) has a way of swaying you to believe something inherently that was never intended for your life, and that certainly cannot be found in Yah's plan for you. Such as:

You have to be married in order to be whole.

It takes another human person to complete you.

If you don't find a husband, you'll be an old miserable maid with 9 cats and a bad attitude.

And the worst one: You'll die alone, and there'll be no one to take care of you when you're old.

So, when I rewound my thoughts, I found culture floundering around in my subconscious mind.

I found remnants of fear. Fear of being lonely when all of my children have moved out on their own, and fear of having no one to take care of me physically when I have gotten along in years.

So, should I seek a husband for all of these reasons? Because truthfully, they are the only ones I have. Wouldn't I be seeking to marry for all of the wrong reasons? I can honestly pay a caregiver for all of these things...

So... going back to the first statement I made at the beginning of this post:

"It definitely is not because I myself, am lonely...

But it is possible that I may be someday."

Personally, I have never been the type of person who needs another human in my midst in order to feel complete. I have always told others, "Another person would need to beat my own company for me to desire theirs."

Loneliness has never been my biggest problem. As a matter of fact, I don't think it has even been my smallest one... "Easy for her to say," one might think to themselves, "She had 7 children. She couldn't be lonely if she tried."

This is true. I do have 7 whole blessings. But that does not mean I will be blessed with their company whenever I feel like I want it. Especially once they themselves have married and had children of their own. Some of them already have.

Anything is possible. I may, at some point, discover what true loneliness feels like... But for some reason, I just can't see it happening.

My relationship with my Lord and Savior just becomes stronger whenever there is no physical human being in my company. His voice becomes louder. His presence becomes more present. He truly is a force to be reckoned with... and comforted by.

Here are the Bible verses from Yah's Word that have assisted me to arrive at the conclusion of my decision, and this post:

1 Corinthians 7:33-36: 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.

Jeremiah 29:11: 11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Exodus 34:14: 14 Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

Philippians 4:12: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

Matthew 22:37: 37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’

1 John 4:19: 19 We love Him because He first loved us.

Hebrews 13:5: 5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

John 3:16: 16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

So... In conclusion, these are the answers I have received from Yahweh, and through His Word:

Is this something that is possible for me? Sure...and you already have it.

Am I too traumatized for this to be a possibility? Nope. You're actually almost fully healed. You're just adding unnecessary expectations of yourself.

Will I unknowingly, unwittingly, or inevitably hurt the next person who becomes romantically involved with me; due to the abuse I have suffered in my past? Christ isn't negatively affected by anyone's hurt. in fact, it brings Him closer to us. (Psalm 34:18 - 18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.)

Will I choose someone who will hurt me again? If so, will I be able to handle it this time? No. Yahweh has provided you with the wisdom to know that another marriage/relationship is not in His plan for you; hence, why He has filled that space for you Himself.

How will I know the difference between a good man and a bad one, since all I have experienced in romantic relationships is the worst in people? You already experience the goodness of Christ every day of your life. Who is better than Him?

If I choose another abusive person, will I instinctively try to "fix him," like I did before? No. You won't ever need to. But Yah will "fix you" whenever you ask Him to.

Would I really know what to do with true love if it was staring me in the face? It is.. How are you handling it now?

If it's true that I have been delivered from my past, then why do I feel like I could still ruin my future? Jeremiah 29:11.

Am I not really delivered from my past? Yes. You definitely are. Hebrews 13:5.

Don't ever tell me that Sovereign Yahweh Elohim isn't capable of answering your questions!! That would be a flat out lie.

Don't ever tell me that He doesn't talk to you, nor that He doesn't listen.. When it may actually be you who isn't listening hard enough, if you can't hear Him.

I will ALWAYS, ALWAYS be complete with Him securely by my side. Will I be lonely someday? Maybe.. But I can guarantee you that it will not last for very long... Before He reminds me that He never left me.

Don't ever feel like you have to comply with culture/society's "norm" for wholeness. Yah has already established what is best for us before the foundation of the world. All we need to do, is trust it.

How do I view loneliness?

As something that others may experience... but they don't have to. And neither do I.

Stay blessed.